Why I Can’t Go Out With You:
I’d LOVE to, but…
— I have to answer all of my “occupant” letters.
— None of my socks match.
— I’m having all my plants neutered.
— I changed the lock on my door and now I can’t get out.
— My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
— I’m touring China with a wok band.
— My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
— I’m running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student
named Basil Metabolism.
— There are important world issues that need worrying about.
— I’m going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
— I prefer to remain an enigma.
— I think you want the OTHER Peggy/Cathy/Mike/whomever.
— I feel a song coming on.
